My econ prof just gave me a shot glass because I was the "randomly picked" winner of the lecture. Ties into our supply and demand lecture, supplied with a shot glass, demand a thirsty thursday
It was all cool until he grabbed my vag and started screaming: THIS IS MINE.
You should have totally come, I started watering down vodka with cider. I have lost the sense of taste.
And now I have fucked a local celebrity so double free drinks at bars.
You get home ok?
Uh, you stopped by my house at 4 am and woke me up, so yeah.
I know you're asleep, but I just had a motherfucking epiphany.
Seeing your boyfriend, side piece, and great white buffalo, all in one night? Its a sign right?
Proceed with caution.
ok now I feel liek a very drunk human instead of a chaos being thanks water
God if that man would just have sex with me every time I got mad life would be so much easier...
I'm definitely not going to be able to fuck him high. I won't be able to not laugh at his man boobs
Also, full disclose I puked in a fruit barrel box
If you gave someone an std. would you say a muffin basket, a candy gram or an edible arrangement is a better choice to send them?
In the last 3 weeks my drunken adventures have caused me to lose 2 credit cards, one debit card, a bracelet, two purses, and my $500 phone... Maybe i should quit drinking.
He took off all my clothes, fingered me, than said "would you be more comfortable if I was naked too?"
Look idk the rules and regulations of our freindship...but I need you to carry me to my car.
Randomize
