Your girlfriend is a south jersey whore
i had just passed the point of no return when my mom opened my door. I hid my dick and took the porn off the computer in time but i still had to explain my day at school to her WHILE i was jizzing in my pants.
Outside the community dumpsters: beer bottles and a carton of orange juice. Looks like we were here.
I still havent given him the valentines day card i got him. I feel like just writting...."sorry for the horrible blow job i gave u last night." and just giving it to him.
Is snow just God skeeting all over the place??
Yes. Yes it is.
I jerked off enough times today to safely commit to the fact that im not getting laid tonight
The last thing I remember is ordering two Martinis while yelling 'CAN YOU PUT THAT IN ONE GLASS?'
Oh my God, that is a gorgeous man. And I wasn't even gay until five minutes ago.
Dave, I love you but you're barking up the wrong lesbian. You sir are the competition. You don't threesome with competition.
I was laying there trying to sleep and then he sat up, took out his dick, and put it on my shoulder. It wasn't even hard- it was just casually perched.
I can't feel my clothes. I'm convinced I'm naked
We have so much sex to catch up on
He said "just hugs" and ran away screaming.
So it may have been laced, sue me.
You should make us a hot pocket to split while I go throw up.
Would it kill us to punctuate. That last text took me 5 min to read
Randomize
