your life is more of a joke than dina lohan.
if you\'re going to compare me please pick the classy one. Michael Lohan.
my ass has officially been on the floor of every fraternity on this campus
and who said we didn't have goals?
THEY HAVE A VOMIT TROUGH.
What?
A TROUGH FOR VOMIT.
Just got a lecture from Dad about how I need to be more responsible and start buying my weed in larger quantities so that i can save money. Like he was serious and kind of disappointed in me for not adapting to his method earlier.
I will miss his soup and his dick the most
Today, my boyfriend informed me that I look like my dad when I orgasm
You made her yell her own name while you were fucking so that you would remember it in the morning.
Ok so I didn't mean for his first impression of me to be lying face down on his roommates bedrooms floor throwing up my jäger but it happened. Atleast my ass looked good in those jeans. Think I still have a shot?
I think I just gave my niece a weed pinata...
Strip Simon Says: DO IT
the sex was good. her showing me pictures of her 4 year old daughter afterwards was not.
I saw the president of my women in business club at the bar last night...I was gonna thank her for teaching me the business skills to create my own fake to get in... then i decided not
How hot? Like... how many hemsworths?
I forget, are we banging TA’s for grades this semester or not?
Depends on how cute he is
Every time I look at him 'Relax' by Frankie Goes to Hollywood plays in my head. Is that weird?
Randomize
