He was all up on my grill like I was having a BBQ. I DONT EVEN KNOW HOW TO USE A GRILL.
Hard rock hotel, wtf why am i still out, im gonna fuk 5 chix 2nite .maybe
Tittie bar + Mother In law gone = mission accomplished.
Every time a guy reaches down to touch my vag, i feel really sorry for all the transgender girls who still have a penis there.
That's weird cause every time i feel a girls vag i feel way worse for all the guys who reached down there and got a penis.
i just kept saying he was red & i was blue and we couldnt become purple. I started crying at one point
This dude. Just lost. A finger. He asked us for tape.
I'm confused are we getting high or did someone actually die?
You have 4 bottles of kahlua in ur drawers but no sox
The first guy I ever sexted is having a baby.. Is this what adulthood feels like?
The Royals are in the World Series. I've never drank so much in one week in my life.
Are you sexting with minion stickers right now?
I'm actually kind of scared about the prospect of us living together. We're just going to eat pizza and drink wine before retiring to our rooms with vibrators
Nothing has ever been more true. Ever.
i just took a huge shit in old main. i think my college bucketlist is finished.
I can't wait to get to LA so I can punch her in the face
Every time I see this chick she's swimming naked at a pool party. That's gotta mean something right?
Randomize
