My only options right now are Herpes, Gay, or Vanilla.
I was just at the urinal, started to go, then farted, then said oh yea out loud, then heard someone move in the stall behind me
he keeps commenting everything on my facebook. it's like he's virtually peeing on me
Just turned rock'em sock'em robots with my little cousin into a drinking game. Im drinking bourbon hes drinking hot chocolate.
Yea.. I remember nothing. Except that the taxi driver was 56 years old and apparently never cheated on his wife.
we traced the origins of this shit fest of a relationship back to a single instance of road head. then we did a reinacment
I'm trying not to drink. I may fall down if I move. This is bad. I had everclear before the bar. Oh no. Oh no. Breathe. Breathe. Breathe.
At front desk. Got a beer drinking pigeon.
But he buys me breakfast and goes down on me THATS HARD TO FIND
We can't tell anyone we fucked because I'm still trying to get with your friend. Is she coming next weekend?
I had a dream I got back with Amanda. And then cheated on her the same day. Even my conscious is a dick
Omg cinnamon bun Oreos. Thanks weed
Did you know that chef boy-ar-dee was a real person? I watched a show about him. the history of the ravioli is more scandalous than you would think.
I’m gonna slowly take you in my mouth and push you deep into my throat so my lips are right up against your body and then I’m gonna fucking bite your shit off if one more of our friends shows me a snap you took while I was giving you head. Are we clear?
But we have bathrooms and they dont
Randomize
