i think i have two assholes
you asked a group of latinas stood by the bar to hold a minutes silence for ugly betty getting cancelled. that drunk.
Apparently the library doesn't care about celebrating the day Jesus became a zombie.
The family from the blindsided came and talked to us last night. The dad owns 68 taco bells. You would have been so inspired
any interest in drunk sledding later? if not, any interest in driving me to the hospital later?
thanks for leaving the note with the doctor's recommendations for my lip, they are dissolvable stitches right?
I got shot at today. If that doesn't get me at least a blow job I give up working on the south side
I like to keep a steady black out going for the holidays. I feel it makes me less cynical
Start warming up your vocal cords, because Fucking With The Windows Open season has arrived.
Can you come pick me up and take me to breakfast then the police station?
Where's your car?
The girl I brought home apparently stole it
Nothing tops off the night like giving emotional and spiritual guidance to a 70 year old transvestite.
I know you saw me get knocked out after I stepped on that rake why did you leave me there
She said her name is "Goose" and regardless of her being a lesbian, sometimes she just "needs a good dick"
She stopped me mid sex to ask if she could finish my ramen, I've found the one.
Are you feeling better yet?
I need a nap and a new butthole
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