fuck, i think i'm broken. Alchyhol air mattress = the suck.
stop calling my apartment porn island.
There are topless girls riding the lawn flamingos. I win.
SEXX, SEXX, SEXX,SEXX,SEX SEX SEXXXXXXX SEX SEX SEX SEX SEX SEX SEXSEXSEXSEXSEXSEX SEXSEXSEXSEXSEX.\nimagine that to the can can song. also come to my house. theres a dance routine.
Does Jim keep sending you pics of him in drag too???? If so, are you also slightly uncomfortable?
So after your set last night some 42 year old woman bought me a drink, professed her love for your music, and then made out with me last night because she thought I was you. Thank you.
I paid off a credit card today. And I was tested negative for HIV. AND I did laundry. Honestly, I'm most excited about the laundry.
This is the Santa Claus of hangovers. It just keeps giving.
You can laugh all you want but 99 grapes is a lot stronger than what you were drinking.
Sex is always the answer.
Especially if the question is: what have I not had this year?
I think I used my NERF gun during sexual roleplay. Need to re-evaluate my life choices.
I mean, he drove your car and it burst into flames, if anyone cant be trusted, it's him.
It was rocky mountain showdown of course we got shitfaced and talked about eating buffaloes
Dude, my back STILL hurts from carrying the team on BP last night.
We were talking about kinky shit, and I suggested a hand job in church.
How'd that go over?
Praise the lord and pass the lotion.
Randomize
