the entire time we were hooking up i couldn't stop thinking about the bengals. thoughts?
He just screamed at her, "if you pass out i am still having sex with you!!!" In front of the entire party.
turns out gay frats are just like normal frats, only with more v-necks
My roommate still talks on AIM. What is this middle school?
a cabby told me that vodka is the coors light of liquor, and then gave me his number
On a scale of one to everyone dying I say let's aim for a 7
We should probably go now, otherwise the whores will descend.
If I come home tho and find u passed out naked in my bed with the bottle of crown empty, we're gonna have issues.
I'm sorry, I can't help the fact that I like to sleep naked, and I like booze, together it looks bad, yes.
You described pouring milk in your strawberry cereal as a glittering magnificent water fall, skimming over the mountain and little strawberry citizens.
He shattered his pelvis base jumping so his dicks out of commission for 4 months. Your up, second string.
Dont judge the spank bank, just be happy that you were deposited there.
I mean, it's just pathetic when the standard is tinder and he can't live up to it.
You know I've done a lot of messed up stuff. But I never thought I would have to put a bandaid on my dick. Yet here we are.
I'm not saying I'm planning to hook up tomorrow but I'm also not saying I'm unprepared for it
Her tits are so fantastic they gave him a panic attack.
Randomize
