And she was only 16?
You say that like it's a bad thing.
ok watching intervention on tv. when i hit rock bottom - i wanna be THIS chick.
Mustard is by no means a replacement for yellow wall paint
Believe it or not, Travis and I simultaneously breaking beer bottles over eachothers heads was not a good idea.
i just feel like the statute of limitations for admitting i plowed through her car last night was up a couple hours ago
Well call me tomorrow, it's a great story that may lead to me being fired and/or possibly being buried in a shallow grave somewhere out in wine country.
I am dressed. And we didn't do anything. He's gorgeous and tall tho. Something nice to look at when I'm hungover
Sometimes you gotta say "hey, its been a long semester. Let's puke before 10"
Do you remember trying to make pizzas with the domino workers last night...while trying to speak their language with them.. spanish?
He passed out. I tried to set his chest hair on fire.
He made a deal with his real estate agent called fucking in 50 properties for sale
He got up in the middle of the show and returned with this massive ham shank, then offered me some by asking "wanna suckle on my hog." Should I be offended?
I'm kind of pissed I'm not hungover, that means I could have totally drank more last night.
Just got my LSAT score...if you need me I'll be drunk in a ditch somewhere.
I am no longer embarassed by my vagina
It concerns why you would be in the first place, but I'd rather not know
Randomize
