omg! a creepy truck driver just made a frog puppet wave at me!!!
He had some BAD nuttage
Nuttage?
It's like cleavage......... but different
hahaha Yeah oh well, she wrote on my facebook wall, That's almost like a digital hand job
If I'm going to go gay, i'm not going to go for a tiny dick.
We have been pregaming the shutdown of the government since Tuesday. Send help, and some more liquor.
i don't think they understood the house was collapsing. they kept dancing and jumping and asking for more cups.
I made out with a guy because he was sitting on my coat...
Im fairly sure two chicks roofied me last night. Suckers. I love free drugs.
My mom sucked on that joint like a nipple and she was a fucking newborn
If there's one thing i learned from edward 40hands is that i couldnt handle life with bottles for hands
He'll only communicate through snapchat with pictures of him holding his cat or his dick. Bit of Russian roulette opening them in public but I did it anyway.
I just put vodka in my apple sauce. Spice up your fucking life.
Is it just me or is it like a girl gets married and all of a sudden she’s a “blogger”?
Does this cleavage amount say, “Fuck it, I’m over dating, let’s just fuck?”
Neighbor is sitting on his porch looking like he made some terrible life decisions and I just want to be like "I drank half of a handle of peach vodka in a shed last night. I understand" but I think they're swingers so his night probs sucked more.
Randomize
