Like all of my pajamas are shirts of guys I shacked with in college
I just saw a hobo shake a payphone until it spat out a bunch of quarters. what a champ.
you decided to have a spaghetti fight but then you got greedy and decided to eat it all.
Its a "sake bomb in the bathroom during class" kind of day.
SOMEONE has to puke in the potted plants at an Xmas party. As their boss I felt it should be me.
Just do it. I grew some lady balls and did it last year. It's your turn. Time to show what you're made of. Hit it or quit it.
i told her i loved her afterwards and she said "i know," kissed me, and got up to start making breakfast.
dude, she han solo'd you. keep her.
To be honest, waking up to 20 naked people in my house was not the weirdest thing to happen to me in the past 24 hours
So, i might have left my morals back in 2011.
Wait, how many people just saw my dick?
just saw the most amazing side boob. i wanted to hold it.
Even in drag you're still better looking than your sister.
all i remember is arguing with the chick that yahoo was better than google
all you were doing was yelling YAHOOOOO in her face
so i won
I'm still very high. To be blunt. No pun intended.
I ate at the cafeteria for the first time yesterday and today I think I had an hour long fart.
Randomize
