I wonder if all of the nights I blacked out will be revealed to me when I die. Have you ever thought about that?
Just assessed the damage in the bath. Two love bites. One bruise on the inner thigh. Strange awareness of what i'm assuming is my cervix. I've definitely missed you. x
You kept saying thank you to the automatic toilet as it flushed your puke.
The drugs are starting to wear off. Suddenly aware there's a girl with bald patches and 2 guys that don't have a full set of teeth between them.
you called me and cried until i agreed to record a rap about our lives with you
I have two stamps on my hand....ones from the bar and one is from an aquarium...care to explain?
Easy Mac is falling out of my sweatshirt as I'm walking down the street.
Police were closing down the bar due to gunfight and I was crying because they wouldn't let me finish putting temporary shamrock tats on my boobs
We have to use a contraceptive. God help the world if another one of us comes into fruition.
you said you wanted to feel how much my penis weighed for educational purposes
we tried to exchange flip flops in the parking lot and fell over then army crawled home
My new roommate is awesome. His father owns a bar and his sister has an E cup. I'm going to be with him forever
lets start a news segment called WHY IS LEOS CROTCH BURNING TODAY
I haven't had an orgasm since 2014. So you cam see why I'm having a bad year.
I just gave myself a foot massage. #SingleAsFuck
Randomize
