you're out of your mind
you look like daphne blake and he looks like fozzie bear
it's like he rubbed a lamp and wished you into existence
So he just rolled over in his sleep and said "that's a punctuation mark..."
After he told me that it's up to him to carry on his family name, I almost felt bad for not letting him cum inside me.
dude. we need more in our fridge then just beer and applesauce.
ALTON JUST DID GRAVY SHOTS. THIS IS WHY HE'S MY HERO
you inspire me to be a worse person
I basically get to watch her life fall apart via tumblr updates
Somewhere between yelling how am I gonna make it to my flight and more titie shots I stopped caring
Oh just chilling alone with a stranger baby while everyone else clambakes the bathroom. Probation is the reason there is bad things in the world.
You see it tends to piss fathers off when they find their daughter in the arms of a shirtless guy that neither he nor his daughter knows.
I went up by the border of Canada. We took shrooms and went fishing...pretty sure we killed a dragon and ate it for dinner
Where the condoms are as broken as my dreams
Hooked up with a guy that looked like Dean Thomas. Mediocre at best, but I stopped myself from calling him Dean in bed. So I got that going for me.
Are you saying being a wizard and going to hogwarts wouldn't be life changing, believe in magic you fucking muggle
Not sure if buying Twisted Teas for the alcoholics posted up outside the gas station counts as paying it forward but I am optimistic.
Randomize
