I heard Topanga got a DUI. I need that mugshot asap.
Don't play hard to get, I've seen some of the girls you've slept with.
Just had a guy dressed only in a towel ask me for a cig, hug me and kiss me then proceeded to pee of the balcony while still talking to me and callin me baby
Got hereat 8. Had 6 beers 2 shots and a game of diZZY BATOS
You face planted into a car door. And somehow didn't drop your burrito.
Yeah dude. They were so drunk they actually drank the pool water. Which I'm pretty sure will kill them. My parents chlorine the shit out of that thing cuz they know how much sex my brothers have in it
Y'know, "Class cancelled because Professor is stuck in Mexico," is not something I expected in college. Let alone, "Professor is stuck in Mexico, AGAIN."
Putting a positive pregnancy test next to my condoms in my drawer so I remember why I always need to use condoms
I want you to come over here and spit coffee in my mouth like a momma bird feeding a baby bird. That hung over.
She's riding a bike down the street and drinking brown liquor. A pt cruiser is honking at her and she's like I HEAR YOU!!
I'm ordering sushi and crying over finals. Come over and bring wine.
Current state of being: shivering like a new born kitten on the bathroom floor
Fuck baseball, getting drunk and playing with kittens is the REAL national pasttime
Made it to my hair appointment on time, and got some dick. Today is already a great day
You are currently doing Harry Potter spells with the turkey-baster...
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