He introduced her to the DMA meeting by saying: in the past few years i've never seen someone work so hard for so little success
It wasn't long before I skipped the martini glass and went straight to drinking from the shaker.
he looked about as manly as a guy in a volkswagen bug can look
I literally ate my thanksgiving dinner while getting a lapdance. And honestly, after that, there is no other way.
just found out this city drinks more beer during oktoberfest than rhode island does in a year.. i'm never leaving
Iranian Rapper, camaroonian basketball player, mexican i forget and indian doctor....this one looks the best on paper.
Law school has no idea what kind of prospect they have coming in. I just convinced a cop not to take me to jail by asking him if he really felt like cleaning puke out of his car tonight.
Living in the dorms has served one purpose and one purpose only for me: to teach me that pooping in public bathrooms is okay and that I can do it
I don't have any bail money, if that's where this conversation is going
she's an english major so her sexts are something i look forward to
I just realized my new apartment is at the corner of Patrick Henry and Mary Jane.
Give me weed or give me death?
She doesn't even know his real name...he just keeps calling himself Hans the Third
She drunkenly dropped her ranch for her pizza. She tried to clean it up with her hands off the street then realized it didn't work and started licking her fingers.
Hey, you know that marble art statue thing in your bedroom? Hypothetically what would happen if a penis got stuck in it?
Hold on I'll be right there, I can't find my arm.
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