Hehe I wanna Australian kiss.. Its like a French kiss but down under ;)
you think the cum will come out of moms black shirt?
I'm fucking him on the second date. I don't give a fuck what Patti Stanger says.
kinda considering buying a life alert for sophmore year
Jesus Christ, she just started playing Enya and is humming along to it. Way, way, way too hungover to deal with her shitty taste in music
2nd semester senior, always drunk. at this point if i don't get a good parking spot, i turn around and drive home
Thanks for walking over, a conversation about David Bowie's dick as a muppet is exactly what my day was missing.
I'm watching intervention which is getting me psyched for your birthday. Is that wrong?
The things I do for you. Not that I'm unhappy about it. I'm just saying you should love me.
Did you sleep with him again?
No! I just led him to believe that I would if he gets me booze. Do I have that little class that you have such minimal faith in me?
You want to complain about your sex life to me? Right now mine consists of trying to masturbate lightly enough not to wake her up with bed shakes. Go. Fuck. Yourself.
No, seriously, I've slept with 3 guys this month.
It's ok, February is a short month
You cannot meet up with him at the tailgate, his parents are there. What are you going to say "Hi I'm the one who fucks your son, can I get a cheeseburger?"
If my dick was big enough to fuck the eye of a hurricane, I would.
Sorry I peed on your ottoman
Actually I learned to fire a 357 Magnum at the age of ten while on my very first period
Randomize
