Tell me why I go to the dollar store for nail polish remover and a ghetto black dude trys to hit on me in the parking lot, then he gets in line behind me with a dousche bag literally and that is his only purchase.
I think the world might be a better place if everyone was capable of having open relationships.
recess is on disney at 4 in the morning, insomnia has never been so rewarding
Does this sound normal?...She's ironing on pictures of her dead cat to all of her green clothes...
im hiding in a corner. drunk. with a plate of stolen jello shots. im pretty sure people are looking for me or the jello shots.
I honestly don't know if ill make it through the next two hours. The hangover is strong with this one.
He just invited me over to bang on a sunday afternoon. If I can make it top the time I went to a strip club on fathers day then I'll consider it a success.
He's freaking out just because my cat licked his balls while he was fucking me
Yeah I'm at work. Nothing like the threat of blowing chunks on passing cars to make you feel alive.
I just got a lap dance from a sexy cop in return for giving him his sunglasses back. I think this is going to be the beginning of a really great friendship
Couldn't finish, so she gave me "the tap," and I had to leave the mound early. Nothing worse than the long walk back after the manager comes out and asks for the ball.
I was just going for a one night stand and now I'm at breakfast with his entire family.
Masturbating with Lord of the Rings on was not how I planned my afternoon going but here I am.
He dropped some cash when he got in my front seat upside down. And a hat. I'm keeping them as retribution for not remembering that he had sex with me once before. Although, if he didn't have his dick pierced, I wouldn't have remembered either.
Today will be the day I throw up in my backpack in the middle of class
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