Is it normal to miss your booty call?
Yeah, i don't remember peeing. or meeting the girl.
TLC. RIGHT NOW. PRIMORDIAL TODDLERS.
I'd be more interested in girls if they were more interested in anal.
I'm drinking reisling in a paper cup by myself in the garage.
i study at coffee shops because all these damn artsy people motivate me to work towards a real job.
You only ask me to come over when your gf is gone, and thats usually at midnight to cook chicken salad and watch you pass out
someone wrote on his wall: "congrats on your engagement"
I think you may want to look into that...
the laptop wouldn't balance on his lap. that's how well endowed he is.
I can't finger myself when I'm all distracted about whether or not your family is going to like me
I woke up in confetti... confetti and shame
It's fine. I wouldn't trust either of them to be my workplace drug buddy.
friends are allowed to bang on New Years, I read it on the Internet somewhere.
I planned out my poor life choices for the weekend.
Man, it's really obvious that I was either handcuffed or tied up last night. Either way, not something you'd want coworkers knowing.
Randomize
