She described it as "a squirrel being hit by a hurricane"
As a pleasant surprise..I woke to find a Burrito and Bottle of Gatorade .....Merry XMAS to ME
I thought we agreed I wasn't a screamer?
You took a bag of frozen peas to bed wiith you "to help with the inflamation".
every facebook tagged picture of yours, you are either drinking, swimming or drunk in water
Dammit now I'm pissed. Its like I am torn between two worlds. A world of girls, and a world of people punching other people in the head. Both are just so beautiful.
He literally cocked blocked all the dudes that tried to talk to the girls he was with, and they all loved him.
Same guy who tossed the brunet over his shoulder as they left screaming "Bring me my lucky shovel!"
Isn't it my whole life blown into this perfect spoon shaped piece of melted and artificially colored sand?
Wow.
My parents heard us going at it in their tent. I told my mom it must have been a bear looking for food. I don't think she bought it. She deliberately chose this park because bears haven't been sighted here in years.
What's Spanish for "I shouldn't have worn these underwear to work?"
I'm not asking for life coaching, I'm just asking if you know where I left my underpants.
How did they ever let a trainwreck like myself run a bar?!
Gez, you make a couple noises and all of the sudden your the loud girl.
We have such a parasitic relationship. But the kind where the parasite benefits from the relationship. Like the pilot fish and a shark. The fish gets the leftover food scraps from the shark and the shark gets a free bath from it.
that's so insightful.
A reminder in my phone just went off saying, "Fuck.On.Roof- the Great Bambino". This makes me excited and slightly nervous.
Randomize
