I got chris browned last night
We need to have an Itty-Bitty Titty Committee mtg somewhere in the range of 5 minutes to ASAP.
oh man. maybe i should puke on his dick? just to test how much he loves me?
like stop trying to get a relationship out of this when i'm clearly in the drunken mistakes part of my life.
She wants to fuck me. On a tennis court. In her tennis outfit. Is ring-shopping an acceptable 3rd date activity?
The trees feel like magic. Come fly to taco bell with me.
because. if I can't sit outside naked and eat my watermelon every morning then I really don't see the point in moving in with you.
How could she say that about my foreskin when she hasn't even seen all the cool stuff I can do with it?
I sent him a tit pic on accident and he replied with "nice ass"
I might attempt to pee into a cup while driving. I'll let you know how it goes.
Just had sex in the room next to my parents. Heading back to school ASAP.
I give all credit to my lucky thong, there's never a time I haven't gotten laid while wearing it
Dude I turned down free booze. I think I'm growing as a person.
i came so much i feel like i were to try again, only dust would come out. and maybe glitter
We’ve got a propane heater on our back porch if you want to come over and eat a McRib in peace
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