Ross. Joey. Chandler. Who would you do?
Pretty sure I just slept with Elmo.
i wrote her a fucking poem. i better get laid for that
Ah shit... I sleep-ate chocolate pudding again.
he gets drunk and then tries to eat the lasers at the dance club
It's official drugs can't kill me
The used rubbers I threw behind her bed all semester must have landed on the baseboard heater. They went up in smoke when she turned on the heat last night.
THERE IS A GOAT THERE IS A GOAT IN MY BED IT IS EATING MY THONG WHAT DID YOU DO
When you're looking for your panties tomorrow, you traded them for a blunt on the train.
We could have casual sex if you want. But I can't offer a bromance to a woman.
I just want it to be said that I had sex in my Belle dress last night. Classy motherfucker.
Can you not touch my dick while I'm holding a gecko?
Sexual favors are the only currency recognized by the Republic of Greg
I don't know what to say to you.
I don't know what I said to you. Start with that.
He’s over 6 feet has amazing posture and went to Harvard and has an awesome job and a great dick and loves Jesus and is an organ donor
Is this the guy you have listed as free food in your phone
Noooo he’s listed as free food #5
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