I want to snug with you.
You want my snuggie?
Miracle whip is the devil's jizz.
Well, I'm a guy so I don't have one, but if its anything like the inside of my nose, yes, vodka would burn.
I lost of the blow last night. Found it later in my bag labeled Fairy Dust.
ha so i just found a picture of you eating paper towels and many of Laura freaking out from it.
im at a loss of words.... a stripper is dancing to a Justin Bieber song.
Sarah Palin is going to have a show on the discovery channel...Can I get a moment of silence for knowledge?
all i seem to do anymore is lay around stoned, naked and eating mangoes
dude chill. we stole 18 hamburgers from her house
no. you cant fuck a burger.
I'm just walking around Lowe's groping the carpets....
Why is there uncooked bacon under my bed?
You insisted on taking it to bed with you. You grabbed it out of the fridge while mumbling "If I leave this out, you fuckers are just going to ruin it."
Yep. My memoirs will be called "A Slore Worth Mentioning"
Who knew a blowjob could cause this kind of crazy
He wasn't prepared for it
Remember when you gave their 80 year old doorman a line of molly at 5am?
There will be plenty of opportunity for me to sexualize Mike via VenMo.
Randomize
