And to think..we used to do everything sober...
I thought the one perk of the low caliber of men I've slept with thus far in my college career is that I would never run into them in the library. I've been here for ten minutes and we're on number three.
Do you want the really bad news or the bad news? Or do you want it in chronological order?
I'm bringing a flask to the test on friday. If I'm gonna fail at least I can enjoy the experience
We were just talking bout putting on helmets and going fo a car ride just to see how ppl react. I will def fit in here haha
I would call you but I don't feel like these hands belong to me.
uh, 3 redbulls and 400mg of caffeine pills and i still feel like life is in slowmotion..lets not take tranquilizers again.
We'll I told him I wanted to keep it PG last night, but then later I asked him to take his pants off. So i'm guessing it was my fault.
We got back from the bar and started watching bizzare foods, which subsequently led to the consumption of large amounts of rancid lunch meat and small insects.
I've found a new low. I was climb-on-the-bar-piano drunk.
I consider any night I don't make out with someone a bad night. So I've been great.
unless you have a dick and you were thinking of chopping that off
I traded my pants for a Santa hat last night and it was so worth it.
i know it looks like there's pee in the mayo jar in the fridge but i promise it's just apple juice that wouldn't fit in the jug after i added the booze.
It was just a hint of nipple. I kept it classy!
Do you even hear yourself?
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