Are you going to tell your therapist we boned?
seems the shocker is way more shocking if u get the fingers wrong
That should be a holiday. like easter. but bulges instead of baskets
im in his phone as 'great ass to tap'
So.. My internet got red-flagged at work because i did a search on "midigit strippers las vegas" This may be hard to explain...
eww mummy girl is here...
what the fuckk. i just want to hold her down, wax her eyebrows, and give her some morals.
Turning 21 on Saint Patty's day. I like to think this is what my alcoholic ancestors have prepared me for
It's not that drunk me is smarter; it's that sober me is secretly playing for the other team.
Do you think I should still be the condom fairy for Halloween even though I'll be like.. Almost 8 months pregnant?
My roommates said duck dynasty was stupid ... toto i don't believe we're in kansas anymore.
That was the night you tried to convince me you threw up your sould because your throwup was black
Sooooo have your ex-girl console you over your ex ex girl that you destroyed said ex-girl over the possibility of
I’m going to cut back. New Year, New Me
I would never wish less dick on anyone but do what you gotta do
Decided to smoke a bowl in my closet while my parents are gone. Just sat in the closet because I couldn't remember how to get out. Started panicking cuz I thought they were gonna show up... Checked my phone. It's been 4 minutes.
totally just bought a bottle of gin with nothing but change
don't ever let anyone tell you that youre not 100% class
Randomize
