I had to get a ride home from that girl that slept with 3/4 of the band
remember them days when you seriously wanted your mom to marry rev run and we would always talk shit about justine?
joeyyyy why you always taken cheeseburgers from me?!?!?!
and then you made a playlist that was just "party in the usa" on repeat...
just told my mom that i'm having a bad day and she responded with "maybe you should pour yourself a nice drink". good to know that my parents support my future of alcoholism
still doesn't change the fact you were dunking your sock in the toilet.
Why did I think it was so necessary to steal that rolling pin?
then he asked me if i wanted to "handle his wingman"
On a side note I think I burnt my eyebrow when we "teter-totered" into the fire
Sounds good. Stay safe. I'm kind of drunk in a Food 4 Less right now and I'm having the time of my life.
five cans of playdoh and a game of guess whose penis ...
Dammit labor day drinking cancelled due to 3 inch long table saw cut to palm
He is the blood diamond of hook ups. You think you want it...but you don't
They're fucking on the bed next to me. I took adderall and smoked so there's no fucking help for me.
Running my fingers through my hair was like that scene in Patch Adams where the old lady got to swim in a pool of pasta. I love Molly.
Want to have dinner and we can talk about how my vagina can make you feel better?
Randomize