you were running down the aisles of wal mart singing 'follow the yellowbrick road'. i'm pretty sure you thought the night shift workers were the munchkins & started crying when they wouldnt help u find the wizard. needless to say u were pretty stoned/wasted
I think id rather eat ped egg shavings.
I left when they started reinacting what appeared to be a jerry springer episode
Why did that cocktail waitress get to sleep with Tiger for 2 years, and all I ever got for living in Whorelando for five years is a couple of pictures with Joey Fatone
Oh and apparently TSA has to open your present from my family or the terrorists win
we should become lesbians. not together. just in general.
I got spanked with a cardboard tube. Apparently he used to be a percussionist. Who favored marching band tunes. It was weird.
So I drew a giant robot attacking a city on the chem test. My TA colored in the fire on the burning building
I think he offered to cook me dinner or cook me for dinner. Not really sure. Just smiled and nodded.
My new dealer is 16. I have been getting high longer than he has been alive.
I don't see the problem
If I come back tomorrow to find a certain football player tied up and locked in your closet, shit's gonna get real.
I'll set him free tomorrow morning ;)
i made sure not to drool on your bed by putting my hoodie on backwards and swaddling my face in the hood
I didn't have toilet paper until 20 minutes ago. But I have champagne. Priorities.
I expected better sex from someone with the word CHAOS tattooed above his dick. But on the bright side, he was down to watch a documentary on Honey Badgers afterwards so I guess I'll keep him around.
How did people get blow jobs before text messaging?
Randomize
