I didn't go out last night, but I dreamed that I blacked out and the *CRAZY* thing I did was to eat 12 cupcakes off 12 diff plates and stack them up neatly. If I had a life, I'd hate it.
SEEEEXXX PLEASE
i'm sending her a home depot gift card for the hole i put in her wall. call it good?
Omg. Get me out of here. Someone is playing michelle branch.
He thinks MY vagina is tight. That's saying something.
got so drunk i was kicked out of my own birthday party and tried taking a bottle of vodka with me
I hope there's a soldier with a Bedazzler just going to town right now.
My vagina is trying to run away to Boston without me.
Woke up covered in green glitter and beer. I am never leaving Ireland.
In related news, I couldn't want to blow you more if your dick made harmonica noises.
Guess who just got a Christian Beliefs class to seriously discuss the spiritual implications of dolphin rape?
all i know is there's a picture on my phone of him wearing my purple sweatpants and licking the bottom of my foot.
Oh my god there are animals here. There are actusal animals trying to get him. A giraffe is trying to get in. A giraffee is trying to get in. Is ridiculouss.
No we didn't fuck. He picked me up I asked where we were going and he said "I don't know if you've ever heard of a little place called Denny's?" He was completely serious. I told him to stop the car and I got out and called Jack.
No idea who's grandma but people were just running around naked
Randomize
