New invention idea: vibrating tampons
then you asked me to turn your jeans into "jorts" just long enough to cover your ballsack
I just looked at the maps icon on my IPhone and "eR" was typed in the search address bar. I wonder if we ever got there.
during a bj, his alarm went off and he said "At the buzzer"
walking around pouring bird seed on passed out guys in the quad.
I got laid and laid off at a conference in long beach all on the same day
Eh. They balance each other out
Nothing gets you judged faster than having cum in your hair at the gas station.
If I asked you to guess what I'm doing right now how many guesses would it take to get to really high eating an apple bumping techno
Talk about an dramatic entrance, girl rolled up on a stolen bike and was wearing heels and a dress, through it on the ground and said "you guys want a bike?" Of course i jumped on that shit, any sane person would!
Apparently "I licked it so now it's mine" doesn't apply to people
I am taking a candle lit bath, blasting some tupac and smoking a fat bowl. This is how every night should end. Did you go take a piss in his car yet?
Dude. She came to my room in nothing but a trench coat. Took it off and said, "you like" in her Costa Rican accent. God I love college.
Came home from this girls horse at 6am to find a guy lighting off roman candles in front of my door. Best walk of fame I've ever had.
Played never have I ever with high schoolers today. Needless to say they brought up threesomes so I had to make a judgement call and decided to not put my finger down
She called to tell me she just hooked up with my crush...and that he talked about me...not sure if I should be pissed or excited?
Randomize
