i want to fuck
?
it's pretty self explanatory
Im partying with a unicorn. You don't even know.
At this point it has been so long i wouldnt know what a dick was if it slapped me in the face.
I found out why we traded puke covered dresses in the bathroom.
Woke up un the hot tuv. Climbed out fo the hot tub and fell asleeo. Woke ip again in the hot tub.
Yeah kinda weird. My grandparents are here for dinner and I'm chilling on the couch close to tripping out on pain killers. My pap asked me how works going and I prettymuch drooled on myself as an answer.
I feel like a cloud. A cloud that wants to be laid.
It's been over a year since we've been get-so-drunk-you-throw-beer-cans-at-fat-girls-drunk together. That needs to change.
Just had a threesome. Girlfriend wasn't a part of it. Broke up with her by sending her a picture of it. Hell is going to be awesome
I can measure my amount of vomit in solo cups.
I sent him a tit pic on accident and he replied with "nice ass"
I feel like I'm in a development meeting for a Lifetime original movie.
I've had to take two showers today and it's not even 1 o'clock. Why won't this weekend wash off?
She has a bong hits for Jesus shirt. Of course I'm going to like her.
So um... You probably shouldn't post that picture of me and your crotch just because that's a new level of raunchiness that I'm not willing to accept yet
Randomize
