Please explain to me what this has to do with my fantasy to fuck larry king?
There is a mermaid on oprah and she looks nothin like ariel
I think I'd do Clint Eastwood.
...kinda gettin a major gay vibe from you right now.
That was a text you sent me last night.
i wrote down the address for planned parenthood on the back of the receipt for the condom that broke
America approved of our night. A bald eagle flew over us at 7am
Soooo, if his status went from married to single and he deleted all the pictures of his kids does that mean he's up for dibbs?
I was to drunk to walk in jimmy john's so I called and got a pickle delivered to me outside the bar , too much?
Made up a full house drinking game
On my way.
I never thought my Saturday night would end up with someone crawling around my carpet for 3 hours trying to pick up spilled coke...
I never thought my Saturday night would end up with ME crawling around your carpet for 3 hours trying to save my investment.
I want an apology pizza with SORRY IM A DOUCHE spelled out on it in pepperoni
Dude, fate has brought her to your penis.
In 18 months of being married we've had sex with 7 different couples. Who said you can't have your cake and eat it.
But like it was sooo bad! At one point he tried to flip me over and he fell off the bed
I'm still trying to figure out who shit on the coffee table. I have confirmed beyond a reasonable doubt that it wasn't me.
Yeah. 11 people shoved in a clown car for a 1 hour party. I'm too old for house parties.
Randomize
