In the car with my brother. His CD went from 2pac to Taylor Swift. I'm concerned. It wasn't a mistake, he knows all the words.
Theres this fat girl in desperate need of the proactive factory in my class and as i watch her shovel food in her face I am struggling to not only keep down my meager lunch but also to stay straight. Eliza Dushku couldnt even get my flacid dick to move
He is like the real live version of the state fair..
Fuck, now I'm not only the other woman, but the pregnant one
His dick might not be the answer to my problems, but I'm definitely ok with testing it as a possible solution.
She spent a lot of time to get her cleavage to look that good. It would be rude not to stare. It shows you are paying attention. Chicks dig that.
Remember the time we were in the hospital and I wanted to steel the arm restraints and use them as sex toys?? Oh college memories....
He puked on the grill while the burgers were on. We had to go to taco bell
Lets get real here, ive seen your moms breasts multiple times
Chipotle. Because when you've had diarrhea for 6 days why not just make it 7
we didnt plan anything. just randomly met up in the park, both reached into our pockets and each lit up a joint without exchanging words. we're telepathic potheads.
Plus my fingers were hella swollen from eating all these cured meats so it was like I was given it to her with Hulk Hands on
My booty call is in the theater watching Deadpool right now. Never though comics would work against me.
the staff put glowsticks in the urinals of the porta-pottys last night and honestly drunk me has never been more grateful for anything in his life
I swear to god, if you ever yell my name during sex with my sister again..your balls will be stapled to your nipples.
Randomize
