So I pulled my t-shirt down, pushed my boobs up and marched right into that church!
Surefire way to sober up: discover that your car is being towed at 2 am.
i would hope so, cause i don't think 'i drove off the road because i was getting some head' is covered in insurance
All he did was lie there and used his hands to keep pace. He was like the metronome of sex.
You seriously looked at the house acorss the street and implied that you thought they had nice Easters.
If you're going to outback I'll have to decline, I've slept with a large enough portion of their staff already.
You would be married by May if you put half as much energy into getting straight guys as you do into getting gay guys
I'll pick you up. Avoid slightly awkward no-we're-not-dating-but-I'm-still-screwing-your-son-after-2-years parental run-ins.
I'm currently sitting at your kitchen table eating chicken nuggets that I dug out of the trash and thinking about how much I need to get laid.
DICK-CITY HERE WE COME
Crying in Target on a display sofa is normal, right? Asking for a friend.
He's very cute and has a totally sit-able face.
long story short... we may or may not have lost your car.
You were up on table in a neon bra chanting "YOUR MOM" while drizzling vodka on your chest...
no wonder i woke up with my boobs stuck to my bra
I'm not gonna be naked if your not here. Thats like a waste of nakedness
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