dont worry your back hair reminds me of angel wings
after he passed out we removed everything electronic from his room, stuck in some old books and an ancient typewriter from goodwill. for 20 min. we had him convinced he'd drunk himself backward in time.
you made your cat watch a peta video with you, so you could show it how just how good its life is
Apparently I had an idea for a cooking show and then proceeded to throw cookies at people.
So what's the verdict on pumpkin smoothies with vodka? I puked.
Woke up in an unfamiliar pair of underwear, running shoes but no socks, and a cowboy hat. Thank you crown royal
i'm currently connecting with my tribal roots aka i just found my recorder from 3rd grade music class... be ready for the recording
Things I Learned Tonight: I have no future in goat wrangling. Herding. Whatever you call the ridiculosity that just transpired.
well he never texted me back and the pizza I took my rage out didn't deserve such malice
At this point all my Tinder matches are telling me I'll be fucking the whole male population of UMass '17.
But like now I know, men who are vegetarians are significantly worse in bed.
Im just an angry damaged little elf who wanders around and tries to find drugs.
He found out about your side hoe and still helped you try to find a lizard that got in the house
wheres my face? and why is my pocket so big?
I took advantage of the fact that my mentee had to go to the bathroom to throw up in the other stall. I'm going to hell for being hungover at an elementary school.
Randomize
