if creeping was an olympic sport, i would be a lock for the gold right now.
Watching intervention at a bar. Who let this happen??
I miss being able to drink at 11am just cause it was sunny outside.
His whole family saw that I had cum in my hair once they turned on the blacklight at the bowling alley. You should have seen his mother's face.
He just helps fat girls get exercise. One walk of shame at a time.
Woke up with string cheese braided into my hair- literally braided
maybe almost giving yourself a concussion counter acts a hangover
I puked right in front of him after winning beer olympics and he still hooked up with me. My life is so easy.
The usual, bring face make up, I have a weird gash on my nose, probably from my one night stand
If it snows I'm just gonna sit at my house in my costume and drink beer by myself all night.
Literally lying on a futon being hand fed bacon
Fuck you.
He could only go twice. I need a guy with more stamina and is less married
My vagina doesn't have a refer a friend program. You don't get $25 for getting your friend to have sex with me.
You had all day to plan ahead & get mixers, so whose fault is this sobriety?
He told us when he was 10 he started shoving bars of soap up his ass for pleasure so i winked at him
Randomize
