There is no way he is gay with that hair.
dude i dnt kno how, but i think theres a tampon in my butt
They're having chugging contests. With juice. Please get me out of Utah.
today was the first day of rush. talking to girls all day makes me sick of having a uterus.
I gave up sex for lent.
I guess that means I'm postponing our date until after Easter.
I probably shouldn't have slept with him. I feel like that may have given him the wrong idea.
he sent me a picture of his dick with a heart border around it
i was on the fence about his sexual orientation until he referred to his marlboro loghts as "carrie bradshaws"
do you actually have a paper bowl full of broken glass and ecstasy or was that just a dream?
Ok now I cleared out half the bar and Em and I have 5 Jameson shots lined up for you. You have 15 min.
Were you rubbing your penis on me while I slept? I smell like penis.
Sure. But we have to be quiet.
Ninja mode activated
I ate the crust off the pizza and left the rest in the box. Even I would hate me.
His mom said he was in the ER and asked for prayers and positive thoughts. Apparently, me wishing the clap on him is not what she had in mind.
Greetings from Florida; the armpit of the US, where my 240something lb brother nearly got carried away by some aggressive woodland mosquitoes. I was only spared because they could probably sense I was currently semi-disassociating and would not feel the suffering their presence wrought.
Anyway, how was your day?
Randomize
