I wannas sexs uuuuu
Almost ran you over in the parking lot. You look good
And secondly i just said i'd pay ten dollars to have sex with you
I'm gonna have sex with a woman...help
Have you been tested recently?
Well I got my shots when I was a baby so I think I'm immune
WTF WHY ARE YOU STILL NOT DOING A BEER BONG?! THE TOILET CLOG CAN WAIT
my vagina has been out of service for wayy too long... this semester needs to start like right now
Please come fuck me. I had the worst sex of my life the other night and I need to be reminded that sex is actually enjoyable
Hefty paycheck and not get wasted can't exist in the same night
So the night ended when we tried making fireworks out of gunpowder and oregano. You can figure out how that went.
Why did you just send me a picture of your dinner?
CAUSE LOOK HOW MUCH SPAGHETTI I'M EATING
Letting Freddy Krueger eat me out = HAPPY HALLOWEEN TO ME!!!
My dry spell starts kindergarten this fall...
They grow up so fast.
If y'all wanna know how far the apple fell from the tree I'm sexting during Easter service. Mom would be so proud 😳
He gave me a brownie at the beginning of class and now I can't feel my face.
Randomize
