Scream out, "Tax-Free dick over here" in the bar. Ladies love tax free stuff
Booty call?
Dude you don't even follow my twitter
Thought you might like this. Had a dance off with an andy bernard look alike and pissed my bed. All in one night.
Dude you can sell sperm for 100 to 250 bucks a time. And the best part is there will be kids all over the world that will have me as a daddy. It's like I'm jerking off my way into ruling the world
I opened my browser to a doctor page titled "serious pain under left side of ribcage". Last night must have been healthy.
she won't take no for an answer... no matter what language i said it in
on the way home I asked you what exit we get off at and your answer was "just like the goldfish"
of course! give me a few hours to recover from chugging a 4loko out of a frisbee, and it will be rage time yet again
she says she's going to shake me awake in 15min intervals if I pass out
this was your mom?
Want to know what makes for a better story than treehouse sex? Getting busted during treehouse sex
It's gotten so bad I typed my will out on my phone in case it's over.
I think my penis runs off weed. I haven't smoked it 3 days and I have no sex drive what so ever
Well we went from the roof to the stairwell to an air mattres. One day were going to fuck in a bed
You don't have to have sex with both if us but I would like a little positive fucking regard.
Also my bed has glitter in it for reasons I do not recall
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