Great. Don't do shady things like that ok?
Theres puke in my trash can and spilled beer next to my bed... come get your girlfriend
I just woke up and realized I puked in my boxers WTF.
You stay classy.
The worst part was I forgot until I tried to put them on.
I'm pretty sure he came before I knew he was inside me.. Didn't think that was his plan when he said he was gonna do things I've never experienced before
Having sex with the stobe light on was the best bad idea I've ever had.
never trust anyone who drives a pt cruiser.... write that down
i wanna give whoever invented massage chairs a blow job.
im already regretting the extreme lack of break up sex that took place
All i remember is people cheering me on to drink faster than the dog, out of the dog's bowl. I just couldn't stop.
I just remember making out with this kid's friend, washing blood off my hands and hearing the RA's were looking for me.
Softest bathroom rug I've slept on in my life, there have been many
Do not, I repeat, DO NOT uncuff him no matter how much he begs. He knows what he did.
I DEMAND FORESKIN
I probably should have told her I was actually the drunkest one there before she let me pierce her ear
well, i found him passed out on a picnic table two miles away with a lit cig in his hand...he had a rough night
Randomize