My low point of the night was when my roommate spit out her jello shot and i took it...
Whatever, you were 10 deep and there was a hot tub. No judgment.
Can you explain my first weekend back, because there a lot of blacked out gaps and 32 friend requests i would like to know about
we're tailgating intramural basketball with hard drugs and tequila...and i think the players are taking shrooms
She fell out the car soaking wet and screaming "im wearing a fedora!" then tryed to seduce him on the front lawn in front of his middle aged neighbor
Woke up naked on my floor covered in cookies. We should celebrate fake hurricanes every weekend.
i knew it was time to leave the bar when i caught myself doing karate dance moves with a married man.
IM A DRUNK BIRTHDAY CLEOPATRA MESS. CELEBRATE THAT BITCH
I need to think of the best way to tell this boy he's not getting his pants back
She's like an enigma, wrapped in a riddle, tossed in miller light, inside a question. Nobody can explain a Heather.
Can we make a pact that if we're 40 and still sluts that aren't married we can get civil unioned the fuck up and raise an asian baby as our own?
Buffalo PD walked in my bedroom this morning at 7 am. Was still blackout drunk, fully dressed, Steak Out wrapper on the floor, parking meter on the floor of the bar room. 'Both of your doors were wide open, wanted to make sure no one was robbing you.' Then I made a pass at her.
We kind of broke a table making out. So yes, I'd say it was successful.
If dispatch calls for us tell them I'm having a significant emotional event in the restroom
Not to be gross and awkward, but I just had sex outside in the rain on the hood of a lexus
Randomize
