Pete just told the whole party I'm a squirter
Does my status still say I suck cocks? I don't know how to change it
she "accidentally" hit me with her car, its almost as if she know im fucking her boyfriend.
I kept telling myself all night that it was completely okay for me to lose all sense of my morals because it was my birthday.
He couldn't say anything coherently but shot off a perfectly timed "that's what she said" when michelle said he'd have to ride in the trunk because she didn't have enough room up front.
He fucked a visibly pregnant girl. It doesn't get weirder than that.
I'll call you tomorrow. I'm ok and back i love you goodnight.
I stole a bike. Here's a pic
the parents are super pissed...made eye contact with the mom while going down on another girl
He was drinking a long island through his Breathalyzer tube.
I feel like I have heartburn in my nipples.
Do you think kicking my coke habit is a good personal goal to put down on the evaluation form?
painting my nails while super high-drunk. Ended up painting my entire hands. Both.
In other news, I just sneezed and almost shit myself. What is happening to my life??
i think you might have coined the term "slightly awkward pyromania"
I'm gonna ask his dad. Weed trumps broken heart any day.
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