I saw hookers! I saw hookers! I saw hookers! I saw hookers! I saw hookers! I saw hookers! Live in the flesh!
My dad assaulted a TSA agent this morning. Shut down airport security. Don't tell me that your family is embarrassing.
I feel like she's the kind of girl who always ends up with guys who have oddly shaped dicks..
he told me he expects me to keep the fangs on when i go down on him. presumptuous, yes, but man after my own heart.
So you have no knowledge as to why I am hearing loud repetitive mooing from next door?
i took it, then realized you live 3 ours away. but if you start driving now, im almost positive I'll still be hard
It's isn't revenge sex until you've cum on her porcelain doll collection.
do you still have a key to my apartment? Without going into too much detail locked myself out naked on the patio, currently using a deck cushion to cover myself so kids walking home from school dont see me
Are you coming to the bday night? i'll be doing a life-like reenactment of traveling through Bonnie's vaginal canal and taking my first breath of life. Don't think you'll want to miss it.
I can bring a slip n slide and curtains.
I felt like... 50% confused and 50% like a slow roasted flip flop.
We were having sex and my nose just started pouring blood. He reached down to the floor, grabbed a sock and held it to my nose. He just kept pounding away like nothing was happening.
Just had to stop myself from doing a bump on the Disney bus. The struggle is real.
I can guarantee he will smoke me out and I won't feel bad about it because he gets to touch my butt.
I woke up uncovered, spread eagled to my dad saying "you really need to stop sleeping naked."
I'm pretty sure that cute cop drove me home. Especially since I found his card in my purse.
Randomize
