Dude, TWO hot chicks on jeopardy tonight. gonna be a good one
Dude, I am so turned on right now. Hot chick with glasses from brooklyn is absolutely crushing right now, taking whole categories. might beat off to jeapordy...
do another line during during the commercial and make the magic happen during double jeopardy.
I woke up to 30 angry texts and her Chihuahua in my room. Can you drop him off for me?
I can't ever handle being "that girl" again. At least not until next semester.
He was in a gay KY jelly commercial. Jew male model. Reasons not to sleep with him. Go.
I knew he was a nice guy, because when we switched positions he flipped the mattress so I wouldn't have to lay in a pool of his sweat.
I'll be honest with you, my dick was out at that point in time.
Oh shit I just realized the ropes are still tied to the bedposts
We broke up in downtown Nashville with drunken, blow up penis waving bachelorette parties walking by. For some reason I can see this ending up as a country music video.
He just stared me dead in the eye as he continued to beat off. Then said "you were going to catch me sooner or later".
At the very least, I mastered a nap while occasionally being dry humped.
I almost tased myself
I dont think you should own that device.
It's an awesome device. I love this device.
Will you rub my calves while I masturbate?
When the stripper from this weekend is your cashier at Publix the next day 😐💀#pensacolaproblems
Also, feel like I need to install a nanny cam to remind myself what I did the night before.
He sent me a website link to GIF on Snapchat. I don’t think he understands how Social Media works.
Randomize
