I fuked that chick last night and she kept saying, "oh...oh....oh", like Bill Lumberg
so what did you do?
I did the mash I did the monster mash It was a graveyard smash!
Seriously, it was like sucking my thumb.. and im not even saying that to be spiteful b/c he is a really nice guy.
redhead is getting on the bull...again red head is getting on the bull!
I didn't know it was possible to make picking up dog shit look sexy.
She did the bend and snap...
Having a race with the dryer. Seeing who can get drunk/dry clothes faster.
I stumbled in at 6am to find my cat in the window making a noise I've never heard her make. When I went to the window there was a goat outside staring at us.
Are you sure? Or did you just think there was a goat?
No there was a goat. I gave it a donut.
You were fucked up like a footballbat trying to eat gum off your shoe. And that wasn't even the nights lowest point.
You got into a heated argument about Frankenstein's intelligence while double fisting burritos from taco bell.
I can not say for certain that I did not blow someone in the bathroom at the bar at some point.
You asked me to pick a color between pink and purple, and I said orange; you told me, "okay, that's a truth question". Then you asked if I had ever deep-throated a cupcake...I didn't even know what to say.
I just stole some rubbers from the girl I stayed with last night so I can use them on a different girl today..
My roommate is fucking his gf in the shower and i really have to pee do i just bust in or pee on his bed
The reason why I poison my organs is so that you guys can't sell them.
Want to go to Victoria’s Secret? His fiancée is out of town and I’m going to try and stop the wedding with lingerie and lots adventurous sex
Absolutely! I love a good sexual filibuster!
His penis is average but his stamina is amazing!!! I didn’t know I had that many orgasms in my body!!!!
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