god i wish i could take a shit and a shower at the same time
At what point did we cease to have vaginas?
Sometime in the sweat pants phase freshman year.
why is it impossible to run with a back pack without looking like a giant d-bag?
haha... you gave me a great visual of you in high white socks running with a backpack with eye of the tiger playing in the background
that only happened once.
so now she's a stripper
can't say i'm surprised
Rode a jet ski for the first time three days after I lost my virginity. Hell of a week for my vagina.
We are so drunk I just let him piss between my legs on the toilet. That's love.
I don't even want to talk about it, I'm traumatized. Even the dog knew to take advantage of the most intoxicated girl at the party...
after that, he'll be sure to remember me. i'll probably forget him, but that's the way it should be.
As a general rule, drunkenness and gymnastics do not mix.
Yeah I don't remember why I went to the hospital though but I just called and they have my wallet
watched two friends get underages. one had a shirt on that said lets get wasted while the other said to the cop "i understand your just trying to do your job but that was dirty bro".
Lets just make a point system, like if we have sex add a point, if they leave after take away a point, if they stay all fucking day take away a point
my still drunk mind thought "hey this is a really good time to stand in the middle of the street barely clothed in 20 degree weather at 4 am talking about the blow job i gave him soph year of high school"
I don't want a baby! I JUST WANT AN ORGASM THAT ISN'T SELF INFLICTED.
Okay so, sorry but last night we had to put a note on your chest and a key around your neck just so you would make it home.
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