If a girl is wearing Ed Hardy from head to toe, does that make her a douchebagette?
Im at the zoo right now high out of my mind and feel as if the animals are watching me and Im the one in a cage.
you spent the night getting lap dances from a stripper with a c-section scar then ended up at a one room casino by the airport and you say you're too good to blaze and see pirahna 3d? bullshit
I keep reminding myself that my vagina isn't a homeless shelter.
Note to self: You can't deep fry cheese-its.
I think im gonna bang this 35 year old at a kids birthday party in the bathroom at this house while the kids open the presents.
Call me when you get back form court. Hopefully its not later than noon. Just remember..win or lose we still booze.
I AM OBSESSED WITH PORCHES. YOU ARE OBSESSED WITH PORCHES. HOW IS THIS REAL?
And is it bad that I haven't talked to guys who I haven't already dated? I feel like a recycle bin.
Just make it a game! Like 20 questions STD style.
you start one little fire by the lake and the police want to talk to you all night...
Easy Mac and you are the sexiest things in my life
I'm going to a one year olds birthday party to smoke weed. What has my life become.
I needed to bring way more fireball to class to match this professors intensity
You sent me a very drunk love letter
Was it the one about pterodactyls?
I was disappointed I thought you actually loved me
Randomize
