Now it won't go down.
You've got a gift.
We were having sex on the balcony and this guy walked by, so drunkily i said "dont move, he cant see us if we dont move."
there's nothing like that first "just failed out of my program" beer
Got blown by one of the bridesmaids. Family BBQ today. They all know. Talk about awkward.
Of course, you get to fuck all night while I'm stuck in the girls bathroom sucking a limp dick for coke
He literally sends me dick pictures, EVERY DAY. SEVERAL DIFFERENT ANGLES ..it's like I GET THE POINT.
I'm very fluent in vodka, but that seems to be a whiskey dialect.
I looked up while we were having sex to see him covering my pillow pet's eyes with his free hand. I think I'm in love
I recorded his orgasm, set it as his ringtone, and called him while they were singing happy birthday to his mom. Yeah, revenge is sweet.
Germany has fetish clubs for everything. We are going to Germany. Germany is our friend.
I should've left when he told me that he only smoked crack by accident once
No dude shes like 5 feet tall and maybe 100 pounds... Normally i wouldnt be scared but someone gave her a bat. Thats why im in the bathroom
He showed up to my apt at 6am wearing a suit and holding a bag of coke....how could I not let him in?
I looked into her soul, didn't I?
You eye-fucked her soul.
I got eaten out in the igloo at snow-kings castle last night.My thighs were literally melting ruts in the ice bench.Definitely colder than the minus 40 blowjob at Desiree's wedding
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