my penis was classy and tasteful, i don't know what her problem was.
Amandyke just told me shes gonna make my tongue her cum rag. i'm borderline terrified
Maybe you should have studied instead of worrying about who is going to have sex with you
omg. he's a virgin strip club employee who's going to college on a ping pong scholarship. this is unreal.
He gave me a trycicle he stole from a kid as an "offering" to have sex. I couldnt say no when he went through all that.
red lips, whiskey sips, shaking hips, nipple slips. my life as a rap song.
I just told him I want him to "take the reins". At least its festive sexting?
Want to run by the liquor store later? Tequila Youn should really be in attendance at Party Mountain. No one else could be our spirit animal.
You thought that you were playing full contact and started screaming "I will fucking end you! I will end you!" and tried tackling everyone in the room.
But on the plus side, what he lacked in size he made up for with speed. And grunting.
I'm literally spending $165 to fly to Arizona to have a sex road trip coming back
He was so drunk we almost didn't even make it to his place because he didn't know where he lived
Yep. The ghost of my sex life is in your house.
Pretty sure I got pink eye from the strip club. There is also still beer cans rattling around in my shower.
I'm trying to imagine how upset he was when he realized that he had been cockblocked by a picture of a sloth and I am drawing indescribable pleasure from it.
Randomize
