it was terrible. i could've done a better job by myself.
im letting my talent of no gag reflex go to waste
For what it's worth, your chances of anal go up the more she loves you. There's always a silver lining.
where does the pee come out of this thing
he used his one phone call on me and it said "you have a collect call from- LETS GET IT- at the montgomery county jail".
I decided to follow my clitoris instead of my heart.
Don't byou dare ruin egg salad by putting your penis in it that would be so sad.
Joe decreed the livingroom and the hallway up to the burn mark his kingdom. I think this is the point of 'stage an intervention'
Instead of politely asking me to shave, he passive-aggressively left me a groupon for a bikini wax. So I passive-aggresively fucked his roommate. And his roommate didn't mind my bush when he went down on me. Anyway, do you want the groupon or not?
My plan to masturbate 34 times on my 34th birthday backfired. Do you still have those crutches?
I just want to smoke this blunt and eat pizza rolls while watching The Price Is Right with you.
I guess the lesson here is that I shouldn't send nudes to elected officials.
I'm perplexed as to why anyone on this planet is straight
It was all going good until I realized she was wearing underwear with a butt flap. Mission aborted.
Yea and there’s destruction when we’re together, mostly of our livers but W/e
Randomize
