My dad just knocked on my door and told me that my vibrator was too loud
drunk making out is the fucking beeeest. specially when it's your exboyfriend
I wonder if you'll be as excited about this as you are now tomorrow morning.
We're cuddling on the couch that me and his brother had sex on...this feels wrong
Quick question... Can I call you daddy? Or would that just really made the whole 8 year age gap a bigger deal...?
Why isn't there a sort by hair color option on Facebook? It would make stalking much easier.
He said he only likes girls with a sense of humor, after he took his pants off I understood why
It's going to be so weird waking up tomorrow morning fully rested completely sober and not covered in piss or bruises.
Part of me really wants this picture, but the other part of me knows if he is really this drunk, he could be sodomizing a lamp and not know it
I have a better chance beating China's military with slap bracelets than this plan has of working.
Also, I pretty much need an IV of fluids straight to my soul
Currently hiding in the shower from the RA and my elbow turns it on. Showers and Ciroc don't mix..
after sex he fell asleep with his water bottle in one hand and his dick in the other at 6pm. I'm a winner.
We should leave before they realize I dumped a bowl of Fritos in your bag just in case I got hungry
Like, I don't need to know your life dude. I just need you to suck my tits.
well apparently i sat in the bathroom staring in the toliet at my vomit. it was blue. how was your night?
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