she had the hairiest bush ive ever seen. it looked like a spoiled head of lettuce.
hey, can i borrow that thing you never use?
what?
your penis
Day two of taking my adderall. I just organized the pantry and alphabetized my dvds. I've missed my mind on drugs
Does your gf have any friends she can hook me up with?
Better looking than her though please.
I need to talk about my life with someone. Preferably with someone who hasn't tried to jizz on me
Ok say I was sexually attracted to a patient who also happens to be in high school...on how many levels is that illegal? And will I actually hear the laws break when I fuck him
what kind of roommate is she really? she wouldn't even hold my hair back.
On a toatally unrelated note, I see music in my hair
I hope you get some kind or rare disease that makes your dick ties itself in a knot for fucking her you lucky bastard.
...I think I just watched a boy make a sandwich seductively. What.
Am I required to send a Christmas card to my fuck buddy?
im looking at the positives. number one it stopped me from hooking up with vince infront of his girl, number two it gave me something to do instead of throwing up and number three i fuckin rocked his world
Want to have dinner and we can talk about how my vagina can make you feel better?
Hey. I hope you have enough room in your car for me and a Honda civic front bumper.
They were playing some sort of fast food scavenger hunt game as an ice breaker. Some chick stamped a Starbucks logo on my hand and told me to go find the girl with the matching stamp and fill her with cream.
Dave had an Arby’s stamp and some sorority girl grabbed him and screamed “I’ve have the meat!”\n
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