how do chicks with those acryllic nails wipe their anuses?
I just came to the conclusion that the most depressing part of my day is when I have to put clothes on.
I left a cheeto on everyone's car trailing to the house i'm at, hanzel and gretel style.
I went to the gas station and the lady goes I remember you. Broken sunglasses and puke on your car.
I cannot for the life of me remember why I am holding this rabbit.
If this wasn't a work function my tits would be out already.
I just wrote "where Jason is" on the screen. He guessed "hospital" correctly.
I didnt say frisky time, just alone time, to chat, or watch a show, or stare into one anothers eyes, or souls, or asses, whatever you straight people do
We poured some Korbel out for our homie Dick Clark.
I just realized that in 3 weeks it becomes sad if I make everything into a drinking game. Fuck growing up
I mean, who doesn't have an ex involved with bath salts?
So the woman who sold us weed at the park is pregnant. With another small child. And the basket she used to carry the joints is decorated with Barney stickers.
She's like a yuppie Nancy Botwin. She just gets better and better.
Reasons why I'm always right: I am older, I am wiser, I have a larger penis
So please don't worry, but I need some help getting blood out of my drywall so I can get my security deposit back. I would not ask if the need was not great.
I wore a bathing suit downtown so I didn't have to put on underwear, I obviously don't have my shit together
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