I told him he can't put it there till we're exclusive. That's totally The Relationship Hole.
How wet are you?
Ever heard of a U-boat?
I just ran from Santa Claus in Kroger
Just facebooked the guy whose name you're yelling in there. So you're aware, his interests include "swearing at babies" and "Ice luge"
I voted for him because his wife supports his raging sex life.
when i got there he was on top of an air mattress in the middle of the pool with a bag of doritos and a 40 telling people he needed his space.
Was that not clear on Friday when I nearly deapthroated two ice cubes?
lets just use each other and get past this awkward stage. forget my name.
Pretty sure the nurse said at one point I was in full restraints because I tried surfing my stretcher
Apparently drunk me thought it was time for a career change. I woke up with a message from Mcdonalds saying that I was hired as the new cashier.
Unless you can blow me and bake me a pie at the same time, im not impressed.
I got picked up after "I just threw up in my face". Then I had very specific instructions involving the bathtub.
Thanks so much for having me, I'm really sorry that I almost caused your dog to catch on fire and also for breaking your doorknob
you could be the only one getting laid right now....yet your sitting in here making goat noises
I'm just trying to figure out the reason why humans wear socks....
Randomize
