i saw a guy balancing a black cat on his head last nite
get a pic
i tried he was too far away anotherguy was walking with paper bags on his feet explain that
i want ur life
Is it just me or are more fat girls getting belly button piercing these days?
I just drove by a church. On the sign out front was written 'crocodile cock'. On both sides.
First lesson of the year: don't close the bar on mondays
I can't leave. She doesn't trust me and my penis being out in the world without supervision.
Woah there. I lasted a semester and a fourth of college not having sex. trust me when i say keeping my virginity was an obstacle course of olympic proportions.
The virgin olympics. I would win the gold. For America.
My stomach literally has no contents left. Tequila cleanse=success.
HELP THE ONLY THING THAT'S HELPING ME DISTINGUISH BETWEEN THE TWO OF THEM IS THE DIRECTION OF THEIR WINKY FACES OMFG
Locals got pissed I was talking to the barmaid. Tried to tell me that they keep all the good beer at "a Soho walkup" Google saved me
I was telling everyone at the frat that they had to try the "fantastic refreshment" that was everclear, vodka and country time
So last night took an interesting turn.. Never thought I'd say I had to pick up my glasses off the floor of a strip club
Just tried to do a line with a snorkel I cut off... that is how my Aruba trip is going!
Is it inappropriate to match with someone on tinder just to ask if the friend in his profile picture is single?
ok so you're 100% sure this time that he isn't your ex in disguise again?
I'm at work behind the bar and just washed my mouth out with rumple bc I don't have a toothbrush. This may be a new low.
Randomize
