Remember that sex scene from American Psycho?
Ya, why?
We should try that some time.
Hilbilly word of the day is cedar, example....I knowed she ain\'t got no panties on cuz I cedar cooter.
Planned Parenthood should have gift certificates.
okay so i know you are missing your wallet but at least its not your tooth. i am missing my tooth.
My balls had bee stings let's just leave it at that.
two words...techno handjob
Home, forcing the cats to make out. Someone should get some.
Did the game of beer pong go wrong before or after the cops and fire department showed up?
Well, practice makes perfect. Let's start playing Eye of the Tiger and do a blowjob training montage.
AND FUCKING MGMT JUST CAME ON. CAN I GO DROWN MYSELF IN LESBIANS OR SOMETHING? IS IT TIME TO LESBIAN
we're fated to lesbian
A cute girl just told me she forgot to take her birth control and winked... I've never been so conflicted about fleeing in terror
WHY ARE THERE NO BLACK EMOJIS? I CAN NEVER PROPERLY IDENTIFY MYSELF.
Just peed off a cliff while playing white snake on my phone. Close enough?
You screamed "i promise ill stop blowing your brother" in the middle of a packed restaurant at 1pm. We should maybe rethink our relationship.
i refuse to sex anyone who doesn't get my lord of the rings references. no exceptions.
Randomize
