if i could have babies with my dog i totally would cause i know thay would be fucking hott babies.
...she just doesn't genetically have the things I want my kids to have.
It's official. I am the proud owner of his very own sex tape. Amateur awesome porn or awful delete-me-now porn? Come over help me decide.
Um I think everyone drunk and there's some douche on violin.
No, but its not like diarrhea. i swear its like my intestines had a secret bank account and i just punched in the right pin.
I'm going to get pregnant and die... Mean Girls warned me about this but I didn't listen
Last time we had a party like that I woke up naked on the pool table with a chalk outline around me and a empty bottle of jager duct taped to my hand.
Yea. I'm excited about this party too
You installed a beer holder in the shower?! You're the best roommate ever!
... That's a shower caddy.
I believe this is a toe-mate-toe vs. toe-maut-toe situation.
Between my sister puke and rallying at the bar and my brother sending a drunk passed out naked pic in which his dick was exposed, I don't know which sibling to be more proud of this weekend.
There is a stockpile of mangos and vodka in my backyard and I'm at least 90% sure you had something to do with it.
They won't let me buy alcohol in the airport until 9am. Super judgemental
And my parents said I crawled through the house
I left my parents and ran through the airport. I was like I'm not getting stuck in Atlanta tonight and not having sex.
Be careful, there is sex in the air.
But what is a man profited, if he should gain Joe Biden and lose Alex Trebek?
Randomize
