this girl is running around outside screaming, it's creaming on me! it's creaming on me. I totally have to find my video camera
I almost didn't recognize her with a shirt on.
I think we should see other people.
Already working on it.
During sex he wiggled his hips and said "I'm turning the ice cream" Deal breaker?
Tis a story best told in person, it involves a golf course, police and vomit
It usually does with you
I'm having horrible flashbacks of being groped by Pauly Shore.
Kid sitting next to me smells like he slept in a dutch oven full of farts. Going to die.
The moment you ate chicken nuggets out of your purse you were my hero.
Where the hell did i get chicken nuggets from
Dont worry about getting me anything... Just put a bow on your ass.
Deal.
at crossfit today a guy shit his pants while deadlifting 405 lbs. coach made fun of him then congratulated him on his new personal record.
I love getting kicked out of places. Its like winning a little league game
I haven't had an orgasm since 2014. So you cam see why I'm having a bad year.
he showed me his third nipple on the first date. I might have low to no standards, but my god.
Bleach your asshole, I'm on my way.
Who is this?!?!
Its like your face is a pile of corn and I'm a chicken
...What??
Randomize
