He lets me throw up in him even if i do it mistakeily- erica talking about the toilet
we drove through mcdonalds and ordered everything on the dollar menu. We told the workers that were making Super Size Me 2, drove away without paying and told them to bill our producer.
Sitting here wishing there were men in my life.
me too. too bad ive decided to fill that hole with cookie dough, closing the door to future men one fat cell at a time.
I'm sorry I kept calling last night when you wouldn't pick up. I'm REALLY sorry I sang "You Oughta Know" on more than 4 voice mails.
Missed another period
I almost hope you're pregnant, this is unfair.
I really need to find a new way to reward you other than head scratches, nutella and blowjobs.
oh wow I have been there. Hell one time Matt and I woke up naked with pizza rolls in the bed.
I was dressed in monkey onesie serving people vodka jelly with a spoon...
But he does seem to be getting proper humping etiquette down. So there's progress.
so as he was cumming he sort of growled with one eye squinted... for a moment there I thought I was fucking Popeye
My heart wants him and my vagina wants him...to have a bigger dick.
went back to my college bar last night. Bar tender doesn't remember my name but remembers me as margarita girl...I'm not even mad though
I need a drink. No, several. I need several drinks. Drunk, I need to be drunk. Definitely need to be drunk
Legit sprained my cooter. No joke. Icing her down as we speak.
our moms work together...I can just see the conversation now, hey your daughter ruined my sons marriage, that's probably how it will start.
Randomize
